DDO - Top Ten Features of D&D Tactics - for the PSP in 1982 : DDO News

The Top Ten Features of D&D Tactics (If It Were Developed for the PSP in 1982):

1. The PSP wouldn’t run unless it was being powered exclusively with an unholy mix of Mountain Dew Big Gulps and Cheetos.
2. Every time you began a battle, the game would freeze while virtual DMs and players argued about how they were going to run initiative that time around, and if any characters had psionics, forget it – the game would just crash.
3. The game would ship with a white crayon to color in the buttons on the PSP.
4. After each battle, the game would pause while the virtual DM looked up the XP tables on page 86 of the DM’s Guide. If you had “+DM Screen” items equipped, this pause was shorter, but you had to expect more surprises from a sneaky DM that hid his smirk behind the screens.
5. Many characters in the game were voiced by Vin Diesel (an avid D&D player), but due to the development schedule, this was when he was a pimply-faced nerd in middle school. One character was voiced by Stephen Colbert, but it was the female elf with a bad case of Herpes.
6. About halfway through the game, Gary Gygax showed up and told you how all of his ideas were stolen and how you were contributing to his downfall.
7. Playing too much D&D Tactics for the PSP caused you to hallucinate that you were Tom Hanks in a bad “made-for-TV” movie.
8. When you entered the Hall of The Hill Giants, inevitably there was one player in the party who’d say: “I go to room #9 and look behind the painting on the wall for the +4 long sword.”
9. It only took you 4 hours of playtime before you agreed with everyone that Dixie was the hottest comic strip character ever drawn.
10. Any time the game would crash, your party would lose a few hundred gold pieces. During boot-up, the PSP would blame the Halfling Thief. Everyone would naturally accept this explanation.