I would encourage you to use the code created by dice as a base. It uses VBScript, which is a language about as close to real english that you can get. It parses the chat log, looking for a command string from a command character that you can set. You can view the thread here:
http://www.tault.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7188
The code essentially does what you want it to already, and modifications are extremely easy in VBS.