Hey there!
I definitely understand the way you are feeling. FFXI is an older game so there just isn't as many people right out the gates of the major cities as there used to be. At times it can feel like a game that isn't much about online community, especially starting out.
I have both PC and xbox360 versions of this game and it doesn't really sound like you are having much of an issue with the interface as it is getting used to the player environment.
First things first, don't ask for things. Asking for things in game is a big put-off for other players. That isn't saying you shouldn't ask for help. And don't take it that you should not interact with other players, by any means. When you are new to the game there are a lot of questions you have about what may seem to be very basic stuff to players who have been in the game for a very long time.
The first 10 levels or so are done by solo'ing mobs outside the cities. Make sure you get your signet from the guard at the gate. It's a crystal shaped icon at the top of your screen when you have it. You can collect crystals and help your country gain conquest standing while fighting mobs (monsters and the like) while you have your signet. Look at the past prices of crystals on the Auction House and list yours accordingly. Since you're new and need some gil I would go ahead and price them competitively. Take the price listed (let's say 1.3k for a stack of fire crystals) and list yours for 99 gil less. (so your list price would be 1.201k)
This will help you upgrade some of your gear. Have fun looking up the prices of some of the items you get as drops from the monsters. In time you will learn what sells and what doesn't. You will also get a feel of what items are best to target to make money. This is often referred to as "farming".
When you get to around level 10 you can head out to Valkrum Dunes and start to party with other players. THis is a great opportunity for you to make new friends. If you meet some very nice people feel free to add them to your friendlist. /befriend (name) is the command to type in to add them. If this person seems to like you as well, why not ask them for a linkpearl to the Linkshell they are in. They might have to have one of the people holding the pearlsack transfer the pearl to you but just be patient. This is a great way to meet new players and enjoy the community in the game.
There will be some players that will get on your nerves. It's just the way things go. you can ignore the ones that really bother you by typing /blist add (name) this will make it so you no longer receive communication from this person.
In time you will build a reasonable base of knowledge about the game and you will find that a good way to get help with the big things later on is to try to be helpful whenever you can. But at the same time, watch out for people who will take and never give back. Don't lend any of your items to anyone unless you want to risk the chance of not getting them back when you ask for them.
Also, some people may argue, but never fall in love through a video game. In my first LS when I first started the LS was run by a guy and his wife. Over time he started to like another member in the LS and the relationship almost wrecked his marriage. It turned out, several months later, that the girl he had fallen madly in love with was...... a dude.
Please reply back with a little more info. What server are you on? How long have you been playing? What job(s) have you tried? Have you tried any of the crafts? What country did you start in?
-Bradybones
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